I am trying to run away
One step one day at a time
the months and days I left behind
that act like hope
and sometimes like pain.
I am trying to forget
the stream of light that rested on my shoulder
The burden of unfinished conversations
People that came by with their suspicious imprints
The time I cracked open my heart
And let the sea take on.
I am trying to negotiate with the past
That won’t leave my sight by the night,
with happiness like ghosts of the past.
When the world disapproved and was set in its ways
When the galaxies moved and nobody noticed
I am trying to forget the times
That made me swim inside my room.
When it was filled with the sea
And I could see the men who made love to me
Like the unspoken words that crawled from my childhood
And seeped in every time they left a mark on my body.
I am trying to forget
My whole is defined by an old rage
Like a child, unloved and exhausted by toil.
So before nostalgia acquires a life of its own
And acts like hope again
Hope, after all, is a lazy excuse
used widely to make the ‘waiting’ easy
I am trying to forget each life I lived
Under the garb of one
So that when death comes
It comes as the final one
And not with every morning sun.
